The Crazy Train

Sometimes, I feel a little foolish in the things we decide to do. Like, for instance, leaving a great church that my husband and I helped get started with a couple people and grew to many that we loved for 9 years, downloading our home and most of our belongings and moving to another country a few months before our daughter graduates from University. That seems quite foolish. To take a year while planning to leave, to sell things and raise support from other people who believe in our foolish ideas. To move to this new country to talk to people each day and show them that someone cares and God loves them. It is foolish, isn't it, to believe that you can make a difference in the world by showing a nation that their city matters enough for us to leave ours? Yes, I must admit, sometimes I feel a little foolish. Especially when I see the look in people's eyes when we tell them that we feel like God is directing us to make this move. When they ask what our daughters will do without us in the same country to live with on their university breaks. When people smile and say, "wow, that's wonderful" and you know they think you just bought a one way ticket onto the crazy train that just zoomed by.

It is funny. I do know we are a little crazy. We are not what you would call a "normal" family. What I do know is that we feel at peace. We know we are following God and we know that God will take care of it all. Is it hard to trust? YES! Do you feel like you just bought a ticket to the crazy train when you plan to move without having a job prepared ahead of time or a place to live...most of the time. Do I wish I could have a room for my girls to sleep in and have them drive over to visit? Of course, that maybe the hardest thing for us so far.

I was reading my Bible today and you know what it says? That God did something foolish too. It says in 1 Corinthians that "The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God". Our whole life, as we follow Christ, is foolishness! What we preach can be seen as foolish...but it also has the power to save.

One of my favorite parts of the Bible is in John. Jesus is speaking and says, "My sheep listen to my voice. I know them, and they follow me." I love this. It means that if we decide to accept the foolishness of God and decide to follow Jesus, that we can hear His voice and we can follow Him! How amazing that the God who created this world can talk to us. We just have to listen. Will we make mistakes? Yes! Will we always know exactly what is planned out for the next year, month or day? No way! When you follow someone, does that mean you know where you are going? Probably not, because usually if you already know the way, there is no need to follow - you can just meet up with them at the end - right?

So feeling foolish has again popped up in my life. God directed us to New Zealand for a 2 year adventure to start a ministry here. Now, we are feeling God's direction again. You see, the problem with this is, our 2 year plan is not finished yet and we feel like the Shepherd is ready to move to a different field! As we look at the picture, we can see that our move here not only changed the way we follow God, but also built up our trust that He will take care of us, our girls and our future. We can see how God allowed us to let go of many things in our lives to free us to move to new locations and continue to shine His Light wherever we go. We look around and see a future ministry starting in this amazing city that God has brought us to. We can see God using us in the churches we have visited and the people we have met. Why is God changing our direction yet again? I suppose if we knew the answer to that, we probably would no longer be "following" but "leading". So, we are grabbing a ticket for the crazy train and hoping on yet again! God is directing us to Los Angeles, California. No, we did not make up this location, although, we both LOVE warm weather AND the beach. I suppose God does know the desires of our hearts after all.

As we pray about moving yet again, moving back "home" to our country but not "home" near our family, friends or girls. That is the stretch and pull of the following. Sometimes, you see the green grass over the fence and wonder...but is it worth it to plan our life out, and loose sight of the Shepherd? Should we just go over that fence and back home so that we can see our family, friends and girls more? Of course we think about it.

Some people think our life is a grand adventure and see us in New Zealand and wish they could just up and leave their job and go to a pacific island...what they don't see is the hard. It is hard to sell all of your things. It is hard to not be able to hug your oldest daughter as she graduates university or when your youngest is dropped off for her first year of university. It is hard to see the smiles and faces of those who want to look at your ticket you just bought for that train going by...it is hard to not be "normal".

But...you know what?? I would not change it for anything. I love following my Shepherd. I love not knowing what is next in my life as I step out, yet again, in faith - trusting that our Shepherd has a plan. I love living in a small apartment (who knew??) I love moving to a new place, although it is hard, to see who I am and who I am becoming. Yes, I feel foolish in these moments. Yes, I feel like I just bought a ticket on a crazy train sometimes, but you know what is super exciting about this whole life adventure of following His dirty sandals? The wonderful and amazing thing of it all is...our two girls are now hearing their Shepherd's voice. They are taking steps in life that seem...ok, I'll say it...a little crazy and I LOVE it! I am so thankful that our girls can hear the voice of The One who has the power to save and they can see that a ticket on a crazy train really isn't that bad. That being foolish by following a God that uses foolishness to save the world may not be such a crazy idea after all.

Where does it go?

Well, my daughter graduates from Indiana Wesleyan University today. I am not there to watch her walk across the stage to receive her degree. So many mixed emotions going on as I sit in New Zealand, so far away from Indiana and get ready to watch it live, simulcasted to my laptop.

Mackenzie is an amazing daughter. She is the one I can count on to shop with me and get a drink at Starbucks. I taught her how to thrift store shop! She is so fun to talk to and laugh with. I love that she is a young adult and we can sometimes just hang out and be silly together.

I have heard older people say, "where does the time go?". I used to smile with my two little girls hanging from my arms, not believing that time would go very fast. Sometimes, I wished it would! When you are a mom with two little ones, as one of my friends is finding out...you don't have much time to think about time, or how fast or slow it is going. You don't even have much time to sleep, so that makes time slow down even more! You wonder if you will ever get a good night of sleep or if time will ever begin to move along.

Take it from me. You will get sleep. Time will move along. Time goes slow and time goes fast. Time seems to drag along behind us while at a job we don't love. I remember sitting in a middle school class while the "kids" were all but climbing the walls while the teacher was trying to teach (I actually think one boy was climbing the walls). I was looking at the clock, then I waited a VERY long time and looked again...and just ONE minute had passed!! Talk about slow! I thought that hour would NEVER end. It did. I DID have an eye twitch by the end of that hour, but it did end...that day.

Walking through a difficult time in life can feel as if you are stuck in the middle of time that will never move again. Depression and grief can hold us hostage in time for a while. It feels as if it will never change or heal...it will. It takes time.

Why do we "feel" time like this? We are anxious to grow up, then look back and realize that "adulting" is not as fun as it looked like a few years before. We can't wait to have a career, then look back and wish we didn't have to work all the time.

So, where DOES our time go? It goes into the people around us, the places we walk through and the things we do. Time is what God gives us to meet new people, build amazing friendships, enjoy places - whether new or if it's just your regular spot. Time heals wounds and time gives us new experiences. Time brings joy, laughter and sorrow. Time brings tears and hugs, coffee with friends and learning new skills. Time gives us babies to cuddle, toddlers to chase and teens to drive to the mall. Time takes your daughter through University and into her next incredible adventure.

I am so thankful that God is in charge of all things - even time! He is really the one who brings people into our lives, new jobs, new joys, new babies, new experiences. I know that if my beautiful daughters will follow God and His timing, He will direct their paths. He will show them their next adventure and be with them in all the ups and downs of this journey of life.

Time is what we are given. God is with us through every second. We just have to remember that He is there. Remember to enjoy our lives that we are given. Remember to pass along the joy of following God and His adventures to those we meet along the way.

Congratulations Mackenzie! We are very proud! We will be foldlowing your walk across the stage on our laptop. We will be watching from different time zones, but seeing the same thing. You, ending this time of your life at IWU, and beginning the next new journey that God has planned for you.

Love you and sending hugs and shouts of joy from Down Under!!

What are you doing??

We are here, in New Zealand. It is so exciting! We have prayed and worked toward moving here for close to a year. Now we finally have stepped onto the soil of what is our new home for the next few years. It is so beautiful here. The people are fantastic. The summer weather is amazing and so much better than the below freezing temperatures we left in Michigan. Everything is going great! 

There is just one small problem. I look ahead and I don't see it. I can not see what God has planned here. Our Visas came through, we packed, we moved, we are in a new country meeting new people, but I don't see the future. I can't see the plan. We have talked about the plan, we know what the plan is, we are excited about the plan...but I can't see the plan.

Why is it that when God brings us to each step in our lives, we can look back and say, "wow! can you believe what God has done?", then we look forward and say, "God, what are you doing??"

Many people in the Bible walked through this same problem:

Moses saw God deliver the Israelites from slavery, then they stood in front of the Red Sea with an army coming up behind them! "God, what are you doing??...will we make it?"

Joshua reached Jericho. He knew God would allow them to attack and win the battle. Then God told him to march around the city for 7 days and God would win the battle for them..."God, what are you doing?...this was not the plan."

Esther became Queen from being an orphan. Then, when her people were threatened, it was her who had to risk her life to ask the King to save them. "God, what are you doing??...am I strong enough?"

Saul became Paul when he encountered Jesus on the road. He sits in a jail cell wondering if he will live to see tomorrow..."God, what are you doing??...can I trust you?"

These are a few of the many stories in the Bible that show that when you follow God...you can never see what is ahead! It is exciting to follow God into new places, new jobs, new relationships. The scary part of following Christ is that He seems to never show you the full plan. I guess, that is where faith comes in. Faith that all is just as God wants it to be. I just need to trust that each step I take will be in the right direction. Each person I meet is who God put in my path. Every day will get closer to what God has planned, but then I will be asking once again..."what's next? God, what are you doing??"

I have heard before that trust is faith in action. So, I guess I am heading to bed, waking up tomorrow and taking the next step. That is all God wants each of us to do, I suppose. To take the next step that He has asked of us. To try to follow Him each day. To trust that He really does have a plan and we don't always need to see it. Then, while we take the next step, trust in Him and follow the path ahead...our faith will become the future. Our path will be His plan.

Random Rain

What keeps happening in my life as I prepare to leave the country to move to New Zealand and begin a new life there? Random rain. My emotions seem to be wrapped up in tears. One moment, I am so excited that God would ask us to start a church in New Zealand, that I cry with joy...the next moment, I feel overwhelmed with all we need to do and all the trust we need to know that God will provide the finances, that I cry...

Random rain has become a normal part of life for me and, I guess, my family. God is the creator of emotions. He knows what I am going through. I suppose He doesn't mind a few extra raindrops from time to time.

I am trying to learn to embrace these extra raindrops. It is all part of the journey I suppose. Who doesn't need a little extra rain in their lives?

People ask what it feels like to "become a missionary". I feel honored, sad, excited, overwhelmed and joyful all at once. I feel honored that God would ask us to move all the way around the world to share Him with others. I feel sad to know I won't be able drive to a Birthday party when I want to. I feel excited that I will be moving to an amazing city to meet new people.  I feel overwhelmed as we are now totally dependent on God to provide. Rain begins to fall as all of these emotions fill my life.

We need about $50,000 more to be able to fly over to New Zealand to begin to start meeting people and sharing the hope of Christ. I feel the rain coming when I stop to think about how big that amount is to us. Then, when someone walks up and invests $1000 or commits online to supporting us each month, the rain begins again as I see God's hand moving through other people.

I sit and think of all the people God has for us to meet in New Zealand. The rain wells up in me as I pray for these people that we have never met, those who are sitting in darkness and praying for light. Some moments I feel like I can't wait even a few more months to meet these people from all over the world. Then, again, drops of rain...

Auckland, New Zealand, where we will be moving, has many people from many countries living there. While Dennis and I visited back in March, we met a couple who work with Campus Crusade on the campus of the University of Auckland. They told us of praying for revival. They talked about praying that God would send people to help them. They explained how they meet with students from all over the world who come to Auckland for their education. They talk to them over coffee and tell them about Jesus. They show them that there is One who can bring light to their darkness. Then, they looked up into our eyes and said, "but we do not have a church to send them to". Remembering their faces as they said this to us brings more rain drops that just don't stop falling sometimes.

Please pray for me - and my family - as we continue on this journey of trust. It is so amazing to watch what God can do! It also brings rain. Random rain. I am beginning to enjoy the rain as God is clearing out my heart of things I hold onto. Selling possessions brings a fresh rain of freedom. Praying for those we will meet brings the rain of hope. Telling others what God can do brings rain of trust and expectation. Sharing with you brings a rain of comfort knowing that others are praying with us on this journey. Random rain...I encourage you to try it, although, you may have to step out in faith in some area of your life to be able to see it falling more frequently. Jesus did not say that following Him would be easy, but He said He would be with us...maybe even in the rain.




If you would like to keep updated, please email at hopenewzealand.cook@gmail.com
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If you would like to invest in this mission and church plant, please visit our funding page -
Hope New Zealand

Waiting for a Miracle

Waiting for a miracle. That is what we are doing right now. God has been directing us to begin the process of moving to New Zealand to start a new church...to meet people who are looking for hope. 

It is funny, you would think that God would ask people to do things for him that they could actually do themselves, but that is not the way God works. Many stories of the Bible show us that God loves to use ordinary people to prove what He can do with nothing - to show the world that God is bigger than we could ever be. That He can do what we can not. 

Jesus used one boy's lunch to feed thousands of people. A lunch that filled their bellies, then filled up baskets with leftovers. How can there be leftovers from one lunch that fed thousands of hungry people? It was a miracle. 

Esther boldly went before the king to ask for her people to be rescued. How was she, a Jewess, able to approach the king? She was chosen. She was favored. It was a miracle.

David, a small teenager, killed a giant. He used a sling and small stone to kill a man twice his size who had a sword and shield. How was this possible? It was a miracle.

Lazarus was dead. He was buried in a tomb. His family was mourning. Jesus comes and calls to him. Lazarus walks out of the tomb...alive. It was a miracle.

Jesus died on a cross. He gave up his life. He was buried in a tomb. Three days later, he arose from the dead. He is alive. It is a miracle.

This is why we are waiting for a miracle. We serve the God of miracles. Many people wonder how we can possibly raise the funding to move to a country on the other side of the world. We can't but the God of miracles we serve can do the impossible.

  
A speaker at a conference I attended gave me a bracelet that is now on my key chain. It was made from a short portion of a soft measuring tape. She told me that it was to represent Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." 

God is able to do more than we can imagine. He asks us to do things that we are unable to do ourselves. Not so that we will look foolish or fail. Not so people can watch us try to do things that will never be done. God wants to use us to show His power to others. He does the impossible to show us that He is God and we are not. If He always asked us to do something easy or something within our reach, who would be able to see the power of God in the midst of it?

God has asked us to do something that we are unable to do ourselves. So, we are stepping out in Faith to do the impossible. We would love for you to join us in this adventure of seeing God multiply "our lunch" to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. 

We are waiting for a miracle...
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Hope New Zealand

The Trade In

I heard a young man talking about our lives and that God asks us to be "all in" with Him. Then, as we grow in our lives and in our relationship with God, God will come back and ask for more...and more...of us. God asks us what we are holding in our hands...and if we are willing to trade it in for what He is holding in His hand.

When we give God our lives and trade in what we have, we receive much better things in return. You trade in your fear, He hands you calm. You trade in your anger, He hands you forgiveness. You trade in your plans for your life, He hands you peace...and possibly much more! I have something I am holding in my hand and God is asking me for a trade.

In the last few months, God has asked Dennis and I to make yet another change in our lives. God is asking me for my comfort. I have a comfortable life. I enjoy living in Michigan (at least during our short summer!) Our family is close enough to us that we can enjoy time with them. We have an amazing church full of beautiful people. I have friends to hang out and laugh with. I have fun driving my little Volkswagen Beetle convertible - especially during the 8 weeks of summer we have here in Michigan! I am holding onto these things...but God is asking me to let it go and trade it in for what He has planned.

Some of you may already know of this new plan that has unfolded in our lives and it requires us to move. Not move down the street or to a city we are familiar with. In the last few months, our lives have been flipped around and now Dennis and I are planning to become Missionary Church Planters in...New Zealand. Yes, the country - not the city in Michigan. I know. It is a crazy thing. It is definitely nothing that we would have thought of on our own. 

In January, we were approached by a friend to see if we would be interested in this idea. We both felt something that encouraged us to continue to pursue a future in New Zealand. We had meetings, we prayed, we talked to our family and trusted advisers. We could not get New Zealand out of our heads! Everything we thought about brought us back to the idea of New Zealand - God had many verses, blogs, books and sermons come into our path that showed us we were on the right track with this crazy idea. Then, at the beginning of April, we took a trip to New Zealand to meet people and see the country. It is a beautiful place - with amazing people. We felt as if we fit right in with the Pastors and leaders there (seems there are crazy people in New Zealand too!) We feel that this move is the right thing for us to do. It is hard to think of leaving our family, friends and church here. It is almost as if God is asking us if we trust Him with everything...do we trust Him that He can take care of not only us, but those we care about here?

God knows me so well. The weekend after we were first approached about the idea of moving to New Zealand, I went to church with my daughter who attends Indiana Wesleyan University. The pastor at her church stood up and began the service with the words, "are you willing to give up everything you have to follow Jesus?" He ended the service with communion. Communion is a tradition where we remember what Christ did for us on the cross. It is a moment in time to not only remember, but to take that time to give God back what we have been holding back for ourselves - to give him all of us because He gave us all of Him. That moment was very meaningful to me. Then, while we were visiting New Zealand, the first Sunday service we attended ended with communion. This is what God was asking me in that moment..."am I enough for you? will you give me what is in your hand?"

This is what I am holding in my hand - my comfortable life. Here. God is asking if I am willing to open my hand to Him - to hand it over to the one who created me and knows what is best for me. Will I trust Him with my life - yet again. Will I trust Him...there.

So, here we go...on a journey of a lifetime. An adventure that we never would have dreamed. Opening up my hand, trading in what I have in my hand, what I have planned for my life, for what God has planned for me...New Zealand!



If you feel lead to be a part of our adventure in New Zealand and help us reach those who are looking for God to trade in their hurts and fears, here is a link for donations - Hope New Zealand

Hold on!!

Life is going along and your life is going good...then, God says - I think you need a change!

That is where I am again in my life. It seems that I have run into a lot of changes throughout my life. I was getting burned out with my job, so God brought along a new one for me. Now, God is changing that once again.

It's funny that just when I think that I have God all figured out, He decides to change things on me just so that I know that He has a better plan that I do! I would have never added another turn, or detour, as my husband may say, into my life at this time, but maybe God knew that a full time job during prime beach season here in Michigan would not work out well for me. I think I agree with Him on this one!

Dennis and I have run into a lot of twists and turns during our 22 years of marriage. I am so thankful that God brought along a man for me to walk along this journey with. We have had losses and celebrated victories!

Dennis proposed to me as we were riding up to the top of a large hill on a roller coaster (the Magnum - it was new that year) at Cedar Point! It was such an amazing time in my life. I was so excited for this fun filled life of marriage with the man I love!

God sure knows that the roller coaster was the perfect place for us to be engaged. It was a metaphor for what our life has been. Through all the twists and turns, God has been there - even when we didn't think He was. Dennis has always been a wonderful husband and father. I know God put us together so that we could walk this road - or shall I say, ride this coaster - together!

We had two amazing girls. It is pretty fun to watch them grow up into beautiful young women who love God and others. Earlier in our marriage, we lost a baby due to a ruptured tubal pregnancy which resulted in emergency surgery for me. I had lost a lot of blood and the doctors told Dennis that a few more hours and I may have not made it. Ups and Downs.

God allowed us to begin a few new churches, in which we have had to move five times. Our girls ended up to be the "new kids" in a few schools along the way. That was very difficult for us, but I always told my mom that I knew my kids would be safer and better off if we moved them and stayed in God's Will than if we stayed and did not follow the will of God for our lives. We always felt as if it was God who showed us where to move and we always had a peace that it was the right thing to do. This does not mean that my days did not have fears and my nights were not mixed with tears. Sometimes following God is not easy. It comes with a cost. Our cost was having to watch our little girls begin again. Make new friends...again. What is encouraging is that the girls have friends from each place that we have lived. We have met many amazing and wonderful people. God has blessed us with friends in Indiana and all over Michigan! (and now, as our friends move...around the country and world) Ups and Downs.

I am in another turn, yet again. My "new job" of 8 months has ended and I am looking at going back to working with students in the schools. God gave me a break to catch my breath and find my laugh. He helped me find a job for this year so that I would be able to go back to my job in the schools again with a new joy and with new students. And...to have time at my beach this summer! Ups and Downs.

Dennis and I just had our 22nd Anniversary. I can't believe it has been that long. Sometimes it seems like we have just begun this journey...then we look back and see the iron turns and hills and valleys. We have not taken off our seat belts yet because we know that God has a lot more in store for us in the years to come. I am just very happy that I can ride this coaster with a man who loves God and loves me. Dennis is willing to follow the twists and turns as long as God is setting up the path for us. Ups and Downs.

We are still in that coaster, seat belts on...laughing and screaming together. I can't wait to see what the next turn holds for us and I am thankful, Dennis, that we can hold hands through the rest of this ride!