Last Day of High School

It's her last day of high school.  I can't believe how fast the time has flown by.  When my daughters were young and I was chasing them around, I remember the older women in our church would say with a sad, far-away look in their eyes, "I know it is hard, but enjoy them now because it goes by fast and then they are gone".  Back then, I didn't think it would ever arrive.  Who knew that the tiara and flowing princess dress would turn into a flat, square cap and matching gown?  

Watching my little 3 year old who sang her words and talked to anyone who walked by turn into a young lady who speaks with respect and smiles at those around.  My 6 year old teetering on a skateboard and roller blades has turned into a 16 year old driving an old red mustang with broken windshield wipers. My 10 year old girl who thought she knew everything changes and knows she is just learning what she will need to know.  My 12 year old who wanted to try everything new is now beginning to step out to do just that.  My 15 year old who wanted to learn to drive a car so bad is now going to drive that car down to a University in Indiana very soon.

My daughter is sad to end one chapter in her life, but she has read enough books to know there is another chapter beginning as she turns the page.  This chapter has taught her how to have wisdom in tough situations, how to depend on God when there seems to be no one else to depend on, how to be a leader when you don't plan to lead and how to enjoy life in the midst of crazy, busy days!

I am so proud of my daughter as she steps out of her high school for the last time.  She has shown me that within the halls of life, she has chosen to look to God as her teacher.  Today, she will walk out the doors of this red and white world and open the door to an amazing world of color!  God, as her teacher, will be by her side as she walks down the sidewalk and into another life.  She will not have to begin the next chapter alone.  She is praying, as I and her dad are, for God to lead her in her next steps.  I know that God will show her what that is!

Congratulations Mackenzie! We love you and are very Proud of you...

My Big Brother

To be honest with you, I have a terrible memory.  I may have already told you that in one of my previous blogs, but I don't remember if I did or not!  Sometimes I feel bad that I can't remember things from my past.  I have some friends who speak about their childhood and high school years as if it was yesterday - believe me, it wasn't.  I only have small snapshots of my past. I am not sure why my brain works like that.  I had a happy and safe childhood, I just don't seem to have it on a film running through my brain...just small glimpses into the past.

Some of the things I remember are things I did with  my brother...like having a water gun battle in the basement, then getting in trouble together. The next thing I remember is wiping the dripping water off the walls with towels, towels and more towels!  We cheered for each other as we took turns water skiing up north at our grandparents' cottage...we tried skiing together on two ropes a few times, but he kept spraying me with his slalom ski as he went back and forth, so I think I was the one to stop that "fun" idea.  We found a turtle while canoeing and took it back to Grandpa's garage to paint our names on the top before paddling back into the lily pads to send him home.

One time, we set up a huge neighborhood production of "Star Wars" in our back yard with the neighbor kids.  We built a large space ship out of a box and acted out what we thought was the movie.  I was so excited to be Princess Leia and my friend, who was a boy, was Luke Skywalker. My excitement faded when the older kids, including my brother, said we HAD to kiss to make the play complete. So that is when I got my first, very fastest kiss - YUCK!

My brother used to play little league baseball, so I would tag along with my parents to watch all his games.  I thought it was great since I would be able to get candy and a "graveyard" from the concession stand to keep me entertained during the game.  Many of you may not know this delicious drink I speak of, but back in the day, they only had a few choices of fountain pop.  We would get them ALL in one cup together - Coke, Sprite, Orange, and Root Beer! We thought we were the coolest. 

It's funny the things you remember about the past. The small snapshots I remember are also filled with emotions.  If I had to figure out an emotion that I felt when I was with my brother it is: safe.  I knew my brother would take care of me.  I was excited to follow him wherever he went when I was little or have him drive me places when we became teens.   I always felt safe by his side because he was my big brother.

As we grow older, and my brother has another birthday, I look back and thank God for giving me a brother to grow up with.  My oldest daughter is going away to college this fall, but you know what I realized?  She will be living in the same town as my big brother.  As I say goodbye to my little girl, I look back and see myself as a little girl again...I see my brother by my side and I know she will be fine.  My brother and his amazing wife will provide a safe place for her when she needs it.  They will be there when I am too far away to give her a hug.  You see...when you can't remember the memories of the past, you are always able to create new ones!  My daughter will now have new memories of spending a few weekend nights around my brother's bonfire, sharing a Coke or a "graveyard" and a few silly stories of kids playing "Star Wars" and having water gun battles in a basement. 

Happy Birthday Big Brother! Thanks for growing up by my side...take care of my little girl for me.

God, where's my map?

So, Have you ever thought you had things all figured out? Have you finally found the perfect job or the "just right" outfit and you felt as if all in the world is just as it should be?  Did you feel as if you have finally arrived at the destination that was planned for you? Not many of us have gotten to this point in our lives, but let me tell you a secret...if you get there, it will change...It is funny how life changes. Sometimes, it changes throughout a few years, and other times it changes in a moment.


God seems to use these changes in life to mold us into who we need to be.   One of my favorite books is "Hinds Feet on High Places".  The main character in the book is seeking out the place where she can live in peace and harmony with God.  She climbs a mountain, then...she realizes the trail she is on has switched it's course and she is heading toward the valley down below.  She is so confused as to why God would lead her on a path heading the "wrong way".  Later, through all of the twists and turns in her journey, she realizes that the very roadblocks that she thought was detrimental to her final destination...was actually the real journey that God had planned for her.  This journey of pain, sorrow, hardships, joy, happiness and accomplishments was exactly the road she had to take in order for her to become who she was ultimately created to be.  Without these life events, she would never become who she was meant to be...she would never reach her final destination if she did not follow the right path to get there.


Lately, I felt as if I was the character in this book.  I thought I had things all figured out! I knew the path I was on. I could see the place ahead that I knew God had finally brought me to. Then, all of a sudden, I looked up and the road took another turn!  What happened to the road I saw coming up next?  What happened to the future I knew God was showing me?  I was so confused as to how this could happen when I was sure I knew exactly what was on the map!  I had prayed, searched, and finally found my place - so I thought.  I was real comfortable with where I was headed, then all of a sudden...I lost the map!


Sometimes in life, our map is taken from us.  God is waiting for us to rely on Him for our next step, our next adventure.  How do we learn to have faith if we already see the finish line?  How do we trust God when we already know what is ahead?  That is where God and I differ.  You see, I think it would save us a lot of time and whining (okay, the whining is all me) if God would just hand me the map of my life and I could see where this next road is going.  I like to know where I am going.  I don't like to take a trip without having some kind of plan as to what we will be doing or where we will be going.  I don't even like taking a walk unless I have some kind of destination! (preferably an ice cream establishment)  I question God at times as to why He doesn't just let me know ahead of time which way I will be turning...at least I could turn on a blinker or some sort of warning for those who have to travel with me - like my husband and kids!  The problem is, if I have a map, I will no longer be looking at God.  I will be looking down at all the turns that are coming, stressing if I will make it through the roadblocks and construction coming in my life.  I know I would be taking more classes on how to maneuver through mountainous roads than I would about the Bible - which is supposed to be our real road map for life.  God gave us the Bible so we can hear His voice when we can't hear His voice.  The Bible has so many stories of people who had roadblocks in their life.  It shows how they survived, how they trusted God and changed other people's lives by looking to God instead of a map.


One story in the Bible that I love is about a man named Daniel.  He continued to pray to God even when a law was passed that you could not pray to anyone except the king.  So, he was set up by a few jealous co-workers and he was arrested.  His punishment was to be thrown into a den of hungry lions and be eaten alive.  I am sure at this moment, as they were walking toward the growling lions, that Daniel wondered why God did not warn him about this. Well, if I was Daniel, I would be asking where this turn was located on the map.  Why end a perfectly good journey with a dead end?  It just doesn't seem like good timing to be eaten alive by lions...but, is there ever a good time for that?


If you read the story, you will find out that Daniel was not eaten that night.  He lounged the whole night with drooling wide- eyed cats, but they never ate him.  They didn't even lay a paw on him.  When the king's posse came the next morning, they found Daniel sitting with the lions perfectly uneaten.  I'll bet the king who had sent him to the lions did not see this on the map!  The king made a new law when he saw how amazing Daniel's God was - how He had protected Daniel from the lions of death.  The new law stated that everyone would now be free to worship Daniel's God!  This dead end on Daniel's map changed a nation!


In the New Living Translation, Proverbs 20:24 is translated as,  "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?"  This is something I need to remember...if I ask God to be the map maker of my life, then I need to let Him direct my steps even if I don't understand where I am going or why I am heading there.  

If you plan your life out, draw your own map and start heading down the path...you will be missing out on what God has for you.  You will miss out on becoming who God created you to be.  You may arrive at the destination you were seeking when creating your personal map, but you will not arrive in peace.  You will always be missing something along the way...something that you just can't figure out.  You may even take a few pit stops to try to fill your life with something you think will patch the pot hole that is there.  I want you to know, even if you arrive at the "right" destination in your life, you will not arrive as the right person unless you take the road God has for you.  The reason God has twists, turns, mountains and valleys mapped out in your journey is for you to transform into the perfect you.  He wants you to be the best you can be...the most amazing person that He envisioned you to be when you were created.  We all have a map.  God has the steps for us to take, we just have to allow Him to direct us as we travel.


So, forget your map and GPS, look to God instead.  Trust His plan for your life and enjoy the travels! He has many adventures planned and you may be surprised at who you will become as you continue your journey following God's map - even if you can't see it! 




Pack your bags...your going on a Road Trip!

Stuck in Ordinary

Have you ever felt like you were repeating the same thing over and over again?  Does your life ever feel as if you are stuck in the "Groundhog Day" movie, where the man relives the same day over and over again?  I think many of us can relate to this monotonous reliving of the same routine, day in and day out.  I work in a Special Needs classroom.  I don't feel like I am reliving the same day over and over again...I actually AM living the same day over and over again! 


We teach the kids how to add, tell time and even how to say simple phrases such as "girl scouts" instead of "scout girls".  When we arrive at school the following day....we hear about how "scout girls" went and then listen to them count without the number 6.  Do you ever feel as if your following a path that will never lead to where you wanted to go?


I realized today that God maybe feels the same way about me.  He tries to teach me how to follow Him, to trust Him and how to have joy in the midst of an ordinary day.  I listen and I am doing so good...until I wake up the next day.  I seem to forget so soon that God can be in the middle of my ordinary.  God can be in the routine.  God wants to use us when we are stuck in our real life "Groundhog Day"....but how can He use us if we forget how to follow?  How do we make the right choices if we choose not to trust?  How do we have joy when we refuse to believe?


The verse at the top of my blog is Romans 15:3: " May the God of Hope fill you with all Joy and Peace as you Believe in Him."  I think many times I don't want to believe.  I think God has left me in the middle of ordinary and gone ahead to show the perfect life to someone else.  When I look at all of the ordinary and difficult things in front of me, I forget.  I forget to trust...I forget to believe...that God is there.  He is in the middle of my ordinary, difficult day.  He is ready to fill me with all joy if only I would believe that He could give me joy in the midst of my perfectly not perfect day.


It's funny, because the rest of this verse tells me what God would do with me if I just believed He could.  The rest of the verse reads, "so that you may overflow with Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."   God doesn't give us joy and peace so that we will have a fun day at work.  He gives this to us...so that we may overflow with Hope!  What does overflow mean?  It means that something runs over...and out...onto all that is around.  Our hope is meant to flow out of us...onto all who are around.  The verse tells us that God's Spirit will give us the power...the power to share our hope in the middle of an ordinary day....all we have to do is, "Believe in Him". 


So, tomorrow I will start again...not only the same routine..again and again..but what God has been trying to teach me...again and again.  To believe in Him...that He is with me when I don't see Him.  To believe I can have joy and peace smack dab in the middle of my ordinary....and to overflow with hope all over those around me!

Did you ever dream of becoming a Princess?

Every little girl dreams of becoming a princess and living in a castle...at least I did!  I dressed up in the robe and tiara as I waved my wand and commanded the attention of those around.  I grew up watching all of the princess movies...to be honest, I still do! They all end in a fairytale...or I guess, maybe they are the fairytale.  One of my favorite stories in the Bible is of a girl named Esther, who becomes not only a princess...but a queen and ends up living in the castle.  She probably grew up in a small home not far from the palace.  I am sure she would look at the palace and dream of what it would be like to be royal - a dream she knew would never come true.

Her story was not quite a fairytale or a dream.  It was more of a nightmare, if you read the story...she was stolen from her home by soldiers who were searching for beautiful young women to "interview" with the king for the position of his queen.  Esther joined hundreds of other girls who were "chosen" to be taken to the king's palace.  They had one year of beauty treatments before they were even allowed their one chance to be "interviewed".  If the girl was pleasing to the king, she would be chosen as his queen.  It seems that Esther wanted to please the king and she showed this by asking her supervisor what she should wear when she went for her "interview".

It amazes me that someone who was stolen from home and kept in a palace for one year still wanted to do the right thing.  She wanted to be chosen as queen.  She saw that although her life had not turned out as she planned, that God must still be in control.  Esther knew that God was her ultimate King.  I believe she wanted to please the king because she knew that God had a plan.  God must know what He was doing by allowing her life to turn out this way...stuck in a palace to compete in an ultimate beauty pageant.

One of my favorite parts of the story is when it says that Esther "found favor with the King"...that is what we all ultimately want, isn't it?  To find favor with the King?  How do we begin to find favor with the King of Kings?  I think it all begins as we learn to trust.  Sometimes, we think the plans we create are better than what God can design for us.  When we put our trust in the King, we are turning over our own plans in exchange for His plan and purpose for our lives.  

I thought I had my life all planned out.  I was working at a school, the wife of a pastor, mother of two girls.   What more could God do with me?  He seemed to be using my life for good.  I tried my best to show God's love to those around me, but I still felt like something was missing.  Then, I asked God, "what is my part? what is my purpose?".  I wanted to see His favor.  I wanted to see what more He could do with my life.  Then, my life changed.  I learned about girls like Esther, who were stolen from their homes but they did not have a fairytale ending.  They were trafficked and used by others who didn't see them as God did.  It broke my heart and caused me to want to do something more.  I began to speak, travel and write.  I began to see that God has a bigger plan than my own.  I feel humbled that God would use me to reach out across the world to help others. Sometimes, I feel as if I have found the "favor of the King".  He has chosen to use me even though I am just an ordinary girl.

At times, it is difficult for us to look at our circumstances and trust that God has a plan and purpose for our lives, but that is exactly what God is waiting for.  He is waiting for us to trust Him with our lives...to trust Him as our King. When we finally let go of our plans and seek out the future the King has designed for us, that is when He shows us what we are really created for...to be royalty.  When we seek out the true heart of God, that is when our identity becomes a part of His identity.  Do you know what your identity really is when you put your trust in God?  You are the daughter of a King...the King of Kings. You are a Princess and that's no fairytale!

The Lazy Crusade?

I have to be honest with you...I am lazy.  I know this may surprise some of you - maybe not my mother and close friends, but yes..it is true.  I enjoy laying on the couch with my coffee and blanket.  My wonderful husband bought me a small notebook laptop so that I can begin to blog....he knew I would not blog if I had to sit in a chair at a desk! Here I am...with my coffee, blanket and notebook.  It is a wonderful feeling.  The Bible does not encourage laziness, so I can not blog to encourage others to lay around and do nothing...so, what am I doing??


I love sitting at the beach, reading a book...doing nothing.  I have a close friend who I talked into sitting at the beach with me and she enjoyed it so much that she began to meet me at the beach quite often throughout our 6 week summer here in Michigan.  We had a great time chatting and soaking up the sun. One day, she looked at me and said, "Heidi, thank you for teaching me how to sit around and do nothing without feeling guilty about it".  Ummm...your welcome?  I was not sure how to take this statement at first...is my calling in life to create lazy people?? I don't think God would want me to begin a crusade for sitting around...although, I think that crusade would probably be quite popular! I laughed at my friend as she was turning red from the few hours we had been sitting in the sun.  I looked at our feet splashing in the water - we had moved our chairs up so we would not have to actually stand up and walk over to the water to cool off...we could just set our chairs in the sand while our feet were in the water!  ( I think this is another very important thing I taught my friend that day...no standing required!)


My friend was not laughing, which was a little strange.  She had just finished telling me that I taught her how to sit around and not feel guilty, but she had a very serious look on her face...and...was that tears in her eyes or just a reflection of the waves? She continued by talking about the verse in the Bible, "Be still and know that I am God..."  she told me that she had a problem with "being still".  She talked about how she needs to learn to "just sit".  Sometimes we need to take time for ourselves, and sometimes, God can speak to us easier if we take the time to "Be still".  My friend was not joking around with me when she thanked me for teaching her how to sit around.  I guess some people need to  know that it is okay to sit, relax and listen.  God shows us many things when we sit down for some quiet time.  He can show us things about ourselves. He can show us his creation...especially while sitting at a beautiful beach.  God is waiting for us to "be still" so that we can "know" Him better.  Take time to sit down..take time to look around you.  God maybe trying to show you something, but you are too busy with life to see it.
So, don't be lazy...but Be Still.  You can thank me later!

Shortcuts

My husband loves to take "shortcuts".  You know, the kind that you think you are lost but of course, you are not because he knows "exactly" where you are! We had three days without kids.  The youngest was visiting Grandma and Grandpa.  The oldest we had just dropped off at camp in a place that is difficult to find with directions.  We were on the adventure of a lifetime - that was his line.  "We" decided to just drive around and find a place to spend a few days alone.  Did I mention that we were in the middle of nowhere?  I think we drove through part of a state land area of Michigan, which was full of trees, trees and more trees.  While driving through our shortcut to nowhere, we saw a tiny log cabin sitting near a home with a sign on it stating that  you could rent by the day.  We stopped, rented it for our two nights and were excited to have some peace and quiet.  During the one room tour and exchange of money and key, the man told us he had a canoe.  He would drive us upriver, drop us for a peaceful canoe trip back to the cabin if we wanted.  The next day, we decided to try our rowing skills and take the trip.


Waving goodbye to the stranger who dropped us off with his canoe, we began our adventure.  It was quite a beautiful trip when we were not stuck in bushes or sitting on sand where the river ran too low.  Toward the end of the ride, we began to head toward another group of bushes.  The tree branch was going to hit my face, so I grabbed it.  As I held the branch, the canoe continued to move.  I am not sure if you can picture this or not, but my husband was behind me - behind the branch that I was holding as it bent further and further.  He yelled for me to not let go, but by the time I saw his terrified face, the branch was bent so far I could not hold on any longer.  Yes, I let go.  What happened next actually happened in slow motion.  The branch flung toward my husband's wide eyes.  His arms and body went backward as if in a Matrix movie.  Then, his feet followed his arms and body.  He did quite an amazing back flip over the side of the canoe and into the river.  His head popped out of the water to find his "should be concerned wife" laughing uncontrollably.  I was bent over, holding my stomach that hurt from laughing so hard, with tears streaming down my face!  What a hilarious event!  It was priceless.  I guess he did not find it as funny as I had.  He dragged his soaking body back over the canoe and sat looking at me with one sandle on.  The other had been sucked under the muck at the bottom of the river.  Well, of course that caused me to break into another mindless moment of giggles.


I Will never forget that two day trip to nowhere.  We had just wanted to get away from life for a few days.  Isn't it amazing that God can bring joy and laughter in small silly things?  If we had been too busy to take this mini vacation, I would not have this fun memory of our marriage.  Of course, my husband may wish he had not taken the 'shortcut' that day!


Take time to be silly and laugh with your family or a friend.  Take a shortcut in your life to give yourself a little time to relax.  Take a few moments to find "you" again.  Sometimes we get lost on the road to success and living life - we need to take time to just be. Time to laugh. Time to break loose and have a little fun. Ask God to show you a shortcut that you can take this week that will bring joy and laughter to your life.