Just Plain Ordinary

Ordinary. 

I feel ordinary most of the time. Not too special, not too pretty, not too popular - just plain ole ordinary. Do you ever feel ordinary? Do you feel you live just an ordinary life? I think most of us feel this way some, or most of the time. Even if we feel we are all alone in our "ordinary" world - I really believe most people would agree that their life is "just ordinary".

It seems we are under the assumption that ordinary is not good enough. We look around and see all of the things we would love to do, yet, how could we - just an ordinary person - accomplish a dream like that? God doesn't use ordinary, normal people - does he? I mean, sometimes its hard to even dream about something amazing happening in my life. I'm just ordinary, so it doesn't seem like that dream would actually happen, you know? Why waste my time dreaming about God using my life when I am just ordinary me. I really don't have much to offer anyway. I should just pray for other people who already have all the gifts. That could be my thing. I could be the person who encourages other people to have a dream. My life is pretty ordinary. I'm not as smart or talented as some of those who can plan big events and reach a lot of people. Not really sure what God can do with an ordinary person living a normal, everyday life.

Have you felt that way before, that you are "just plain ordinary"? Did you ever wonder if God could use you in your normal, ordinary life? I have good news for you! God uses Ordinary!! The disciples of Jesus were called "ordinary". When people began to notice their preaching and teaching, this is what they said, "When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus." Acts 4:13

What was the factor in their lives that made someone take notice of their ordinary? The factor was Jesus. It says, "They took note that these men had been with Jesus." The time they spent with Jesus changed their ordinary lives into something that caused others to take notice. God uses Ordinary.

When we take time to be with Jesus, our ordinary will be noticed by those around us. The light of Christ shines through ordinary. God can use ordinary people to change the world! All you have to do is give Jesus the "wheel" (as Carrie Underwood would say). If you give your dreams to God, he will use your ordinary to change those around you and that is how the world is changed. One person at a time. Yes, you may be walking in ordinary, but when you walk with Christ, He can turn your ordinary into ORDINARY.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

When you look into the mirror, do you see the fairest of them all? It seems that many of us never quite see the "most beautiful" looking back from the mirror. We see many things, but most of them are not what we would see in a fairytale.

Why is it difficult to see the fairest of them all in ourselves? We can look around us and point out all the great qualities of those around us, but when we look in the mirror, we see something different.

I think sometimes our past reflects from the mirror. We see mistakes, regret, guilt, shame and bitterness staring back at us. We try to see what God sees - someone created in his own image - but when we look at the refection, we see words...we see the past.

These words can control your life. Guilt, regret, shame, bitterness. So many words. How do we get past these words to see the true refection? The refection of who God made us to be?

My friend had a refection of shame for many years. She had an abortion as a teen that she had hidden in her past. When she looked into the mirror, that shame and guilt reflected back so all she saw were the words staring back at her - not her true self. Not who God created her to be.

She was able to get past this refection of shame and guilt - she chose to forgive herself.

When we chose to take the very difficult step, to look ourselves in the mirror and say, "I forgive you..." that is the moment that God can begin to change our reflection. As we continue to look into the mirror, forgive ourselves and choose to see ourselves as the person that God created, we will begin to see! We will see our true refection. We will see who God created us to be.

It is not easy, but it is totally worth it! Take a deep breath, look into the mirror and dare to see something new! A reflection of forgiveness and peace - a refection of YOU!

Scars

There are many things we try to hide in our lives. It seems the past can catch up to us when we least expect it. We try to move ahead, only to have our past staring at us again. We forgive ourselves, finally, only to look down at the scars on our arms. Some have scars that show or can be covered up. Others have scars hidden inside from things that are never spoken of.

When we walk around hiding scars, hoping no one will find them, we can be controlled by the past. We see the red marks and think about the past. We relive the feelings and try to push them back down in a place that has been bricked up and covered by years of pain. Anything can cause these scars to resurface. We may see someone who reminds us of the past, we may hear or smell something that brings up this hurt. When this happens, the feelings come along...guilt, shame, anger, pain. No matter how hard we try, these feelings continue to plague us in our daily lives.

In the Bible, it says, "by his stripes, we are healed..." Isaiah 53:5. Jesus died on the cross so that we can ask him to heal our scars. His scars are what heal us...his pain is what can make us whole. What is amazing is, while Jesus' scars heal us, our scars can help to heal others.

God wants to use our scars, our past, to bring healing to others. He can use the pain and mistakes that you have hidden inside. He wants you to share this past with those who need to hear it. Your scars can be the healing that someone else is looking for. If we continue to hide our scars, we will continue to confront the feelings of shame, guilt and anger. When we step out, cry, and share our story with another broken person - that is when we have freedom!

Our freedom comes from showing our scars. Someone else's freedom depends on it! Those who walk by us living in pain will only trust someone who they know walked through what they are facing. How can they trust someone who has not felt the pain they have felt? How can they share their scars with someone who has none?

It is not easy. It hurts. It takes a lot of prayer and a lot of guts, but when you take the step and allow God to use you to show someone else your scars, that is when you will have freedom from your own scars. That is when the scars of Christ shine through your own and bring light into the darkness of their pain. 

I don't like to camp

Camp. It is not my favorite pastime, any of my friends can agree to that statement. I tend to enjoy shopping in air conditioned malls or sipping coffee with my laptop. Camp does not come with these modern day conveniences. I don't really enjoy taking a trek to the bathrooms to begin my day. Now, it seems strange that someone who doesn't love to camp always goes camping one week out of a very short summer in Michigan.  I have done this for as long as I can remember!  I have attended camp as a kid, teen and now, an adult with my own teens!

I always blame my kids for attending camp.  I tell everyone that the reason we still come to sweat out a week in the hot July sun is because our kids love it so much, but my friend saw through my facade.  She said, "you know you love it too". Yes, she is right. I do love it (don't let this get out to others at camp, since they all still believe that I really don't enjoy it and I am doing all of this for my kids. I need to keep my "Mom of the Year" status somehow!). Although, I am not quite sure why I love it, I do know I enjoy being there - on the campground.  Just sitting by our little cabin, I feel a comfort...a reassurance that no matter what happens in my life, or how many changes take place, that God is always with me through every step - every change - every year of my life.

Camp has brought with it a lot of changes in my life.  When I was a kid, it was learning new songs, laughing with friends, learning that boys had "cooties" and seeing that it is pretty cool to love God.  When I was a teen, I learned that God had a plan for my life, that he was more important to my life than trying to impress the "cool kids" and I also learned that boys really didn't have cooties!

After I was married, camp included fun things such as potty training a two year old with porta potties! Not something I would recommend, but my two year old thought that those green boxes were the coolest place to learn this task and wanted to stop every time we passed by! Unfortunately, our little trailer we had borrowed that year was just down the lane from the porta potty and it was on the way to EVERYTHING in camp, and on the way back to our trailer! 

My husband was pastoring a small church up north when our two girls were little. We didn't have much cash, so the camp offered us a deal - watch the toddlers during the morning service for two hours and we can have free camping for the week! We thought that was a great deal, until we found out that the "toddler room" was in the back of the cafeteria. We had to block the kids in a corner with about thirty folding chairs and try to keep 15 three year olds busy for two hours! Let me tell you, it was not a good deal.

As our girls grew, we were able to watch them run around on the campgrounds with their friends, coming back to our camping area only for food or sleep.

I would much rather sleep at a Holiday Inn Express than in a little cabin that is actually a shed with electricity and bunk beds. I would rather have air conditioning than sweating, or a kitchen rather than a table with a fridge and toaster on top. Why do we continue to go back each year to spend quality time with Michigan mosquitoes?

It seems to be the time that God chooses to speak to my husband and I about important decisions in our life. This maybe because we actually get away from our technology, television and busy life for a week. We are quiet and able to listen to God a little easier while away from our crazy life! We go away for a week to focus on life, family and listening to God in sermons, songs and a quiet spot by the lake.

One year, God spoke to me during the songs at the chapel service. I felt like God was telling me that we were moving. We had been at our small church for six years and loved the people there very much. I felt God was telling me that this part of our life was ending. I was very sad but excited for this adventure all at the same time. As I sat down, I noticed the tshirt on the man sitting in front of me. It said, "Embrace new beginnings". My husband was in a back room and was not in the service. He was praying for the speaker and that God would speak to those sitting in the service. After the time for chapel was over, I was outside waiting for my husband. As he walked up, I said, "We are done here, aren't we?". He just smiled and said, "yes". God had talked to him about the same thing, at the same time, in a different room! We had no idea what was next for us, but we knew we had to take the next step. My husband told me later that after we had our short talk, he walked into the bathroom and a man he didn't really know walked up to him. He said, "Do you know that Abraham left everything he had to go to a place God wanted him to go? And he didn't even know where God wanted him to go yet!". These are the experiences we have at camp.

We had things like this happen so often in our camp life, that my husband and I were terrified one year to go to camp. We did not want to move or do any other difficult things we thought God might ask us to do! We still went, and God still spoke, but we did not have to move again. 

Sometimes, God has shown me during a week at camp that I just need to be still. I need to seek a quiet place, slow down my life for a few hours and focus on God and his love for me. To get away from my busy, crazy life and stop. Look up to God and take a breath. This is what we need sometimes. To take a break from life and have some time of quietness where we can really see that God created us and he loves us.

So, in a few weeks, we will once again pack up and head to camp. I will spray myself with mosquito spray and make dinner with a toaster. I will get dirty and have to take a hike to the bathrooms. I will also sit by the lake with a book, take time to talk with God, and wait for what I fear with excitement - his voice telling me what could be next in my life. I will be still. I will seek God and I will find peace. At Camp.

My comfy couch

Overload. That is how I feel right now. I work in a Special Needs classroom. The kids need attention all day long. They don't know what personal space is and my ear was physically hurting when I left work today because of the nonstop chatter that seems to come with the attention- seeking.

I decided to come to a little coffee place after work to "download". Well, that obviously was not a great idea today - with the senior citizen sitting two feet away with his laptop - he feels pretty young at heart as his 80's music blares from his little laptop. Of course, me - wanting the comfy seat in the place, decided to sit in the only area with cushioned chairs. This happens to be directly under the nonstop News Network that seems to be loud enough for people a few feet away to be able to keep up on the events of the world.

So much for my quiet download time.

As I walked up to ask the nice teenager who is running the coffee shop to please mute the tv...I realized that the music is actually coming from the ceiling above the tv! It really isn't the hip gentleman I had already accused of blaring his music. It is just me - stubborn little me, who does not want to move from my soft and comfy couch. It is my own fault that I am being barraged by bad music and news releases.

Do you think we do that in other areas too? I think I do this all too often. I blame others for my mistakes. I point fingers and complain about my life - but, in reality, I really don't want to change. I don't want to move. I would rather blame others for my headaches than blame myself. I am too comfortable with were I am to actually DO something about it. Why would I want to change my life when I can sit on my squishy couch and complain to everyone around me about all of my situations and woes in life? I can blame those around for causing loud noise and unwanted circumstances. I would never actually take time to look at my situation and get up to move - to reach out to God and ask for help.

Why does this seem like such a difficult thing at times? Why would we rather complain about our life we are stuck with than to ask God if there is something different he has in plan for us?  I think we would rather be comfortable than challenged. We would rather be familiar with our suffering than to be pushed out into a new world to begin a new life. We could pray for God to place a dream into us, a new challenge. But why would we take time to pray for God to put a dream in our life - something amazing we could do for him - if we really don't want to get off the comfy couch?

I have prayed and followed God in the past. I have walked down the path of new and exciting events. I loved the joy I felt as I followed God's plan. Now I see a new plan being unfolded before me. Something I have been praying and asking God for. Now, I am clinging to my couch. I am afraid to stand up and take the first step - how will I ever get back to my comfy life if I follow God's lead? I know in my heart that if I choose to follow God, that I will have a peace and joy inside even through the difficult times. It is just getting up - leaving my couch, my safety, my life as I know it - no matter how unhappy I can feel as I sit on the cushions - to walk into a new life that I can't see yet. It is scary to follow God into the unknown. It is hard to see what is next when it has not been revealed yet. This is what faith really is.

In one of my Bibles, there is a definition of faith that I love and have kept with me for many years. It says this: Faith means abandoning all trust in our own resources, abilities and reasoning - the things we see. It means relying instead on the things we can not see - God's promises, provisions and His concern for us. An inner attitude alone does not define faith, though for faith to be present, action is required. Faith proves itself by its obedience to the Lord. 

Faith is getting up off the couch...

Pajamas and Glitter

I was just remembering one New Years Eve's we had as a family. Our girls were about the ages of five and eight. We were sitting at home that evening, with no plans. We had already changed into our sweats and pajamas for the night. Just waiting to watch the giant ball of light descend in NYC.

Then, my husband had a great idea - lets take the girls out to a late dinner then we can come home and watch the ball drop before heading to bed. We decided we would just head out in our sweatshirts to find a place to eat. Looking for a new place we had never tried, we spotted an Italian restaurant. Why not try that for our special late night dinner in our unkept hair and sweats? We didn't really think much about our appearance, since - it WAS New Year's Eve. We were parents - who goes out on New Year's Eve? We were just happy to be out!

When we entered the restaurant, we were so hungry and excited about our new adventure, that we really did not take the time to look around. I guess we missed the strange expression on the waiter's face when we walked in with our girls in pajama pants and sweatshirts, my husband in his everyday Detroit Tigers ball cap, and me with the oversized hoodie. We never really paid much attention to his nervous shifting or funny smile. He seemed like a nice guy, but a little "weird" acting, if you know what I mean. Hey - we just wanted a good meal in a new joint.

It was after we were seated, ordered our meal and began to eat the complimentary bread that we began to notice we were different than the other customers that night. While our oldest began to use her fingers to pull the soft bread out of the middle of the hard roll and our youngest was blowing milk bubbles, we began to scan the rest of the "joint". What we noticed were a lot of sequin gowns and black bow ties. We noticed linen table cloths with very high heels peeking out from under them. We noticed everyone else in the restaurant was ready for a black tie New Years Eve event after their dinner - and I think they may have noticed us.

After this quick analysis of the area, we decided it was too late to high tail it to McDonald's. It's funny how we felt quite normal when first arriving to the restaurant. We were excited about our spur of the moment evening out and enjoyed ordering from a new menu. When we became aware of our surroundings, we felt a tad out of place. It was, in my husband's words, reminiscent of "The Beverly Hillbillies" for those of you who know what that is. Of course, the service was so slow that night because it was packed full of Hollywood wanna-be's that we ended up entertaining those around for about two hours with our milk bubbles and hand claps the girls learned at camp. The waiter was so sorry for the wait, or maybe he was sorry he couldn't get us out of there faster - he offered a free dessert. My husband, who, without thinking, added to the "Clampett" theme by ordering four orders of cheesecake. He figured the man offered free dessert - we had four people, so four desserts to go please! (for mom and dad to eat after the ball drops and kids go to bed!) From the expression on the waiter's face, I don't know if he had meant ONE dessert or four, but I don't think he cared at that point - the four pieces of cheesecake in their boxes were on our table in moments with our bill and a smile that said, "can you please take these kids out of here now?"

I'm not sure if the glittering sequins or milk bubbles won on the entertainment that night, but we sure had something to laugh about. We still think of this time when a "Clampett moment" hits our family. I must say, it does tend to happen to us quite often!

We may not quite fit in with glitter and high heels most of the time, but you know what? Even though we felt silly for not wearing the correct dress code, or felt "second class" that night, we enjoyed our dinner with our adorable girls. We laughed at the milk bubbles and we were amazed at the hand clap game they showed us. People may have given us funny looks that night, but to be honest, we were so busy enjoying our family and laughing with our girls, I don't remember anyone there that night - only sequins, heels and black bow ties. I do remember the pajama pants, milk bubbles and empty bread crust. These are the memories I want to have. Who cares what those around us think? Do we want to lose our days trying to be what others expect us to be?

We could have looked around that night, apologized for our attire and bubbles while packing up and heading to the nearest fast food joint. We could have allowed the expectations of those around us to dictate how we felt about ourselves and even our kids. We could have missed out on the fun of experiencing a night of "Clampett" life!

Please don't look around you and forget who you are. Don't fall into a trap of trying to be someone else to impress those you work for or hang out with. You will miss out on all the fun. You will miss the enjoyment of just being you! So, next time you find yourself surrounded by sequins, don't run to the dress shop - all you have to do is blow a few bubbles and take time to laugh. Make memories with those you love even if those memories don't quite fit into the glittering surroundings around you!

The Voice

Listen...do you hear it? It's a whisper. We tend to miss it during our busy, everyday lives. We hurry through life and forget to listen. We pray for God to speak to us, then say "amen" and go about our day without waiting for his answer.

I believe God speaks to each of us, if we are truly seeking him. Jeremiah 29:13 says, "you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart". If we seek God with all our heart - not just halfheartedly, then he is ready for us to find him. He will not push himself on us or stand in our way, but if we are really looking - seeking - he can be found right there, in the middle of our lives.

We are desperate to hear from God. We wonder why he doesn't show up to tell us our next steps or to stop us from making a blunder in life. Sometimes, it almost feels as if God is playing hide and seek with us, except, we can't find him! It feels as if we keep looking and we continue to find the same thing. Nothing. Silence. Do you think we could be looking for him in the wrong place? Do you think we could miss it? That God wants to speak to us, but we just do not know how to hear him?

I have a friend who was seeking God. She didn't even know she was seeking him. She was struggling and wanting peace to come into her chaotic heart. She came to my house and said, "I just want peace in my life". Of course, I felt as if I had the answer for her - God! That is when I felt as if God put his arm out and stopped me from speaking to her. He basically said in my spirit, "I got this". So, instead of giving her the answer to her peace problem, I prayed with her and sent her home questioning. Still having no peace.

I prayed for her that night. We worked in the same place, so the next morning, I pulled into the parking lot and began to walk toward the front doors. She came running out to meet me. She had never done that before. She was usually hiding in her office by the time I arrived at the last minute! That day, she almost knocked me over and said, "something happened last night". She stopped talking and looked around as if we had just been given a secret mission by a spy organization. She said, "man, your going to think I'm crazy." Then she just stood there unsure if she should confess something she had been excited about a moment ago, only to realize it sounded totally insane when she was about to speak it out loud. Once again, she looked around, spy-like as she said, "I heard the voice". She continued with her story. She went home the night before without peace in her life. She was lying in bed, once again, asking God for peace. Then, she heard God speak to her. He said, "you won't find peace until you ask Jesus into your heart."

The voice. We can hear many "voices" in our mind each day. One is our own self talking. I have even argued with myself some mornings about getting out of bed for work! It sounds, in my mind, something like this -
"You have to get out of bed!"
"No, I don't want to."
"you have to get to work"
"but I am so comfortable"....and so on it goes. I admit that I am not a morning person!

The other voice we may hear in our mind is that of people. People in our past, present or someone who has just passed through our lives. They could be encouraging words that came at just the right time in your life, or words of anger - hurtful words. We need to be able to sort out these words, these voices, and only choose to listen to the encouraging ones. If the voice was hurtful and spiteful, then we need to pray that God would help to take that voice out of our mind. One way I have found to drown out the voices replaying my faults, is to begin to sing a praise song to God. Once we begin to praise God and focus on the words of praise, these voices will have no room to hang around in our mind.

A voice that can feel as if it is true when it whispers lies is the voice of the devil. He tries to destroy lives and families with small little whispers that turn into loud roaring lies. It may begin with a voice from a person saying something about how we look. It could even be innocent; a laugh about a bad hair day we had. That will be taken by the voice of the devil and turned into a lie of how ugly we are or that no one wants us around because we are not worth it. So many lies. It can begin with a small whisper, but if we chose to believe it, it can ruin our lives. A whisper of a compliment by someone at work can turn into a divorce. A whisper of hate from a hurting, angry teen can turn into a teen suicide. A whisper of someone in the past, telling you that your not good enough, turns into a life where you never try what you love because you know you will fail. A whisper from a mirror or magazine turns into an eating disorder. You can see how it begins. So small. So "innocent". If we begin to believe the lie, then the lie begins to take over. This voice is dangerous. We need to think about what we are thinking in our minds. We need to ask God to show us if it is truth or a lie. Reading the bible can help determine if what we are hearing is from God or not. If it does not line up with the truth we read in the bible, then we can know it is not the truth from God.

God's voice is the voice we don't realize we can hear in our mind. God can speak to us, but when we have so many voices and we are choosing to listen to the wrong ones, his voice becomes quieter. The more we practice listening, the more his voice will begin to grow stronger. Pray for God to speak to you. Listen for his voice. When you hear something in your mind and you know it was not something you thought up yourself, listen. It could be God speaking. God's voice can change your life!