The Crazy Train

Sometimes, I feel a little foolish in the things we decide to do. Like, for instance, leaving a great church that my husband and I helped get started with a couple people and grew to many that we loved for 9 years, downloading our home and most of our belongings and moving to another country a few months before our daughter graduates from University. That seems quite foolish. To take a year while planning to leave, to sell things and raise support from other people who believe in our foolish ideas. To move to this new country to talk to people each day and show them that someone cares and God loves them. It is foolish, isn't it, to believe that you can make a difference in the world by showing a nation that their city matters enough for us to leave ours? Yes, I must admit, sometimes I feel a little foolish. Especially when I see the look in people's eyes when we tell them that we feel like God is directing us to make this move. When they ask what our daughters will do without us in the same country to live with on their university breaks. When people smile and say, "wow, that's wonderful" and you know they think you just bought a one way ticket onto the crazy train that just zoomed by.

It is funny. I do know we are a little crazy. We are not what you would call a "normal" family. What I do know is that we feel at peace. We know we are following God and we know that God will take care of it all. Is it hard to trust? YES! Do you feel like you just bought a ticket to the crazy train when you plan to move without having a job prepared ahead of time or a place to live...most of the time. Do I wish I could have a room for my girls to sleep in and have them drive over to visit? Of course, that maybe the hardest thing for us so far.

I was reading my Bible today and you know what it says? That God did something foolish too. It says in 1 Corinthians that "The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God". Our whole life, as we follow Christ, is foolishness! What we preach can be seen as foolish...but it also has the power to save.

One of my favorite parts of the Bible is in John. Jesus is speaking and says, "My sheep listen to my voice. I know them, and they follow me." I love this. It means that if we decide to accept the foolishness of God and decide to follow Jesus, that we can hear His voice and we can follow Him! How amazing that the God who created this world can talk to us. We just have to listen. Will we make mistakes? Yes! Will we always know exactly what is planned out for the next year, month or day? No way! When you follow someone, does that mean you know where you are going? Probably not, because usually if you already know the way, there is no need to follow - you can just meet up with them at the end - right?

So feeling foolish has again popped up in my life. God directed us to New Zealand for a 2 year adventure to start a ministry here. Now, we are feeling God's direction again. You see, the problem with this is, our 2 year plan is not finished yet and we feel like the Shepherd is ready to move to a different field! As we look at the picture, we can see that our move here not only changed the way we follow God, but also built up our trust that He will take care of us, our girls and our future. We can see how God allowed us to let go of many things in our lives to free us to move to new locations and continue to shine His Light wherever we go. We look around and see a future ministry starting in this amazing city that God has brought us to. We can see God using us in the churches we have visited and the people we have met. Why is God changing our direction yet again? I suppose if we knew the answer to that, we probably would no longer be "following" but "leading". So, we are grabbing a ticket for the crazy train and hoping on yet again! God is directing us to Los Angeles, California. No, we did not make up this location, although, we both LOVE warm weather AND the beach. I suppose God does know the desires of our hearts after all.

As we pray about moving yet again, moving back "home" to our country but not "home" near our family, friends or girls. That is the stretch and pull of the following. Sometimes, you see the green grass over the fence and wonder...but is it worth it to plan our life out, and loose sight of the Shepherd? Should we just go over that fence and back home so that we can see our family, friends and girls more? Of course we think about it.

Some people think our life is a grand adventure and see us in New Zealand and wish they could just up and leave their job and go to a pacific island...what they don't see is the hard. It is hard to sell all of your things. It is hard to not be able to hug your oldest daughter as she graduates university or when your youngest is dropped off for her first year of university. It is hard to see the smiles and faces of those who want to look at your ticket you just bought for that train going by...it is hard to not be "normal".

But...you know what?? I would not change it for anything. I love following my Shepherd. I love not knowing what is next in my life as I step out, yet again, in faith - trusting that our Shepherd has a plan. I love living in a small apartment (who knew??) I love moving to a new place, although it is hard, to see who I am and who I am becoming. Yes, I feel foolish in these moments. Yes, I feel like I just bought a ticket on a crazy train sometimes, but you know what is super exciting about this whole life adventure of following His dirty sandals? The wonderful and amazing thing of it all is...our two girls are now hearing their Shepherd's voice. They are taking steps in life that seem...ok, I'll say it...a little crazy and I LOVE it! I am so thankful that our girls can hear the voice of The One who has the power to save and they can see that a ticket on a crazy train really isn't that bad. That being foolish by following a God that uses foolishness to save the world may not be such a crazy idea after all.

Where does it go?

Well, my daughter graduates from Indiana Wesleyan University today. I am not there to watch her walk across the stage to receive her degree. So many mixed emotions going on as I sit in New Zealand, so far away from Indiana and get ready to watch it live, simulcasted to my laptop.

Mackenzie is an amazing daughter. She is the one I can count on to shop with me and get a drink at Starbucks. I taught her how to thrift store shop! She is so fun to talk to and laugh with. I love that she is a young adult and we can sometimes just hang out and be silly together.

I have heard older people say, "where does the time go?". I used to smile with my two little girls hanging from my arms, not believing that time would go very fast. Sometimes, I wished it would! When you are a mom with two little ones, as one of my friends is finding out...you don't have much time to think about time, or how fast or slow it is going. You don't even have much time to sleep, so that makes time slow down even more! You wonder if you will ever get a good night of sleep or if time will ever begin to move along.

Take it from me. You will get sleep. Time will move along. Time goes slow and time goes fast. Time seems to drag along behind us while at a job we don't love. I remember sitting in a middle school class while the "kids" were all but climbing the walls while the teacher was trying to teach (I actually think one boy was climbing the walls). I was looking at the clock, then I waited a VERY long time and looked again...and just ONE minute had passed!! Talk about slow! I thought that hour would NEVER end. It did. I DID have an eye twitch by the end of that hour, but it did end...that day.

Walking through a difficult time in life can feel as if you are stuck in the middle of time that will never move again. Depression and grief can hold us hostage in time for a while. It feels as if it will never change or heal...it will. It takes time.

Why do we "feel" time like this? We are anxious to grow up, then look back and realize that "adulting" is not as fun as it looked like a few years before. We can't wait to have a career, then look back and wish we didn't have to work all the time.

So, where DOES our time go? It goes into the people around us, the places we walk through and the things we do. Time is what God gives us to meet new people, build amazing friendships, enjoy places - whether new or if it's just your regular spot. Time heals wounds and time gives us new experiences. Time brings joy, laughter and sorrow. Time brings tears and hugs, coffee with friends and learning new skills. Time gives us babies to cuddle, toddlers to chase and teens to drive to the mall. Time takes your daughter through University and into her next incredible adventure.

I am so thankful that God is in charge of all things - even time! He is really the one who brings people into our lives, new jobs, new joys, new babies, new experiences. I know that if my beautiful daughters will follow God and His timing, He will direct their paths. He will show them their next adventure and be with them in all the ups and downs of this journey of life.

Time is what we are given. God is with us through every second. We just have to remember that He is there. Remember to enjoy our lives that we are given. Remember to pass along the joy of following God and His adventures to those we meet along the way.

Congratulations Mackenzie! We are very proud! We will be foldlowing your walk across the stage on our laptop. We will be watching from different time zones, but seeing the same thing. You, ending this time of your life at IWU, and beginning the next new journey that God has planned for you.

Love you and sending hugs and shouts of joy from Down Under!!

What are you doing??

We are here, in New Zealand. It is so exciting! We have prayed and worked toward moving here for close to a year. Now we finally have stepped onto the soil of what is our new home for the next few years. It is so beautiful here. The people are fantastic. The summer weather is amazing and so much better than the below freezing temperatures we left in Michigan. Everything is going great! 

There is just one small problem. I look ahead and I don't see it. I can not see what God has planned here. Our Visas came through, we packed, we moved, we are in a new country meeting new people, but I don't see the future. I can't see the plan. We have talked about the plan, we know what the plan is, we are excited about the plan...but I can't see the plan.

Why is it that when God brings us to each step in our lives, we can look back and say, "wow! can you believe what God has done?", then we look forward and say, "God, what are you doing??"

Many people in the Bible walked through this same problem:

Moses saw God deliver the Israelites from slavery, then they stood in front of the Red Sea with an army coming up behind them! "God, what are you doing??...will we make it?"

Joshua reached Jericho. He knew God would allow them to attack and win the battle. Then God told him to march around the city for 7 days and God would win the battle for them..."God, what are you doing?...this was not the plan."

Esther became Queen from being an orphan. Then, when her people were threatened, it was her who had to risk her life to ask the King to save them. "God, what are you doing??...am I strong enough?"

Saul became Paul when he encountered Jesus on the road. He sits in a jail cell wondering if he will live to see tomorrow..."God, what are you doing??...can I trust you?"

These are a few of the many stories in the Bible that show that when you follow God...you can never see what is ahead! It is exciting to follow God into new places, new jobs, new relationships. The scary part of following Christ is that He seems to never show you the full plan. I guess, that is where faith comes in. Faith that all is just as God wants it to be. I just need to trust that each step I take will be in the right direction. Each person I meet is who God put in my path. Every day will get closer to what God has planned, but then I will be asking once again..."what's next? God, what are you doing??"

I have heard before that trust is faith in action. So, I guess I am heading to bed, waking up tomorrow and taking the next step. That is all God wants each of us to do, I suppose. To take the next step that He has asked of us. To try to follow Him each day. To trust that He really does have a plan and we don't always need to see it. Then, while we take the next step, trust in Him and follow the path ahead...our faith will become the future. Our path will be His plan.