The Crazy Train

Sometimes, I feel a little foolish in the things we decide to do. Like, for instance, leaving a great church that my husband and I helped get started with a couple people and grew to many that we loved for 9 years, downloading our home and most of our belongings and moving to another country a few months before our daughter graduates from University. That seems quite foolish. To take a year while planning to leave, to sell things and raise support from other people who believe in our foolish ideas. To move to this new country to talk to people each day and show them that someone cares and God loves them. It is foolish, isn't it, to believe that you can make a difference in the world by showing a nation that their city matters enough for us to leave ours? Yes, I must admit, sometimes I feel a little foolish. Especially when I see the look in people's eyes when we tell them that we feel like God is directing us to make this move. When they ask what our daughters will do without us in the same country to live with on their university breaks. When people smile and say, "wow, that's wonderful" and you know they think you just bought a one way ticket onto the crazy train that just zoomed by.

It is funny. I do know we are a little crazy. We are not what you would call a "normal" family. What I do know is that we feel at peace. We know we are following God and we know that God will take care of it all. Is it hard to trust? YES! Do you feel like you just bought a ticket to the crazy train when you plan to move without having a job prepared ahead of time or a place to live...most of the time. Do I wish I could have a room for my girls to sleep in and have them drive over to visit? Of course, that maybe the hardest thing for us so far.

I was reading my Bible today and you know what it says? That God did something foolish too. It says in 1 Corinthians that "The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God". Our whole life, as we follow Christ, is foolishness! What we preach can be seen as foolish...but it also has the power to save.

One of my favorite parts of the Bible is in John. Jesus is speaking and says, "My sheep listen to my voice. I know them, and they follow me." I love this. It means that if we decide to accept the foolishness of God and decide to follow Jesus, that we can hear His voice and we can follow Him! How amazing that the God who created this world can talk to us. We just have to listen. Will we make mistakes? Yes! Will we always know exactly what is planned out for the next year, month or day? No way! When you follow someone, does that mean you know where you are going? Probably not, because usually if you already know the way, there is no need to follow - you can just meet up with them at the end - right?

So feeling foolish has again popped up in my life. God directed us to New Zealand for a 2 year adventure to start a ministry here. Now, we are feeling God's direction again. You see, the problem with this is, our 2 year plan is not finished yet and we feel like the Shepherd is ready to move to a different field! As we look at the picture, we can see that our move here not only changed the way we follow God, but also built up our trust that He will take care of us, our girls and our future. We can see how God allowed us to let go of many things in our lives to free us to move to new locations and continue to shine His Light wherever we go. We look around and see a future ministry starting in this amazing city that God has brought us to. We can see God using us in the churches we have visited and the people we have met. Why is God changing our direction yet again? I suppose if we knew the answer to that, we probably would no longer be "following" but "leading". So, we are grabbing a ticket for the crazy train and hoping on yet again! God is directing us to Los Angeles, California. No, we did not make up this location, although, we both LOVE warm weather AND the beach. I suppose God does know the desires of our hearts after all.

As we pray about moving yet again, moving back "home" to our country but not "home" near our family, friends or girls. That is the stretch and pull of the following. Sometimes, you see the green grass over the fence and wonder...but is it worth it to plan our life out, and loose sight of the Shepherd? Should we just go over that fence and back home so that we can see our family, friends and girls more? Of course we think about it.

Some people think our life is a grand adventure and see us in New Zealand and wish they could just up and leave their job and go to a pacific island...what they don't see is the hard. It is hard to sell all of your things. It is hard to not be able to hug your oldest daughter as she graduates university or when your youngest is dropped off for her first year of university. It is hard to see the smiles and faces of those who want to look at your ticket you just bought for that train going by...it is hard to not be "normal".

But...you know what?? I would not change it for anything. I love following my Shepherd. I love not knowing what is next in my life as I step out, yet again, in faith - trusting that our Shepherd has a plan. I love living in a small apartment (who knew??) I love moving to a new place, although it is hard, to see who I am and who I am becoming. Yes, I feel foolish in these moments. Yes, I feel like I just bought a ticket on a crazy train sometimes, but you know what is super exciting about this whole life adventure of following His dirty sandals? The wonderful and amazing thing of it all is...our two girls are now hearing their Shepherd's voice. They are taking steps in life that seem...ok, I'll say it...a little crazy and I LOVE it! I am so thankful that our girls can hear the voice of The One who has the power to save and they can see that a ticket on a crazy train really isn't that bad. That being foolish by following a God that uses foolishness to save the world may not be such a crazy idea after all.